The only thing the fitness Gods reward is suffering. If you want to see a dramatic improvement in your physique then you're going to have to make Blood Sacrifices to the Iron Gods. Now that the Fitness Faggots have fucked off to jumping jacks and bowflex, I can have a serious discussion with real men. Doing so will increase your testosterone, eases overcrowding in gyms and makes the world a better place. I highly recommend calling out Fitness Faggots. Fitness Faggots don't actually lift so instead of calloused Iron Hands of Hatred they have soft silky smooth baby bitch hands. The easiest way to spot a Fitness Faggot is by their baby hands. After that they'll meet up with a friend over a 600 calorie latte and bullshit about their workout in an effort to convince themselves that they are not a Fitness Faggot. Most people are there to hurp weights and read magazines on the treadmill. The modern gym is nothing more than a socially acceptable playground for adults. That fact isn't something fitness betas want to be reminded of while they're bouncing on colorful rubber balls trying to relive their childhood. Real fitness is about forcing your body to adapt to ever higher levels of physical stress.
The luxury fitness club manager is going to mumble some shit about resistance bands.
The Pilates reformer teacher is going to roll her eyes. The chubby nutritionist isn't going to approve. So I can tell you right now that they are not going to approve of this post. The majority of the fitness community thinks that a healthy lifestyle consists of balancing on a Bosu Ball while taking a Jamba Juice cumshot.
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